The Celibate Gay Christian Movement (2024)

During my childhood, there was a widespread, Evangelical belief that people who were attracted to the same-sex could have that eradicated. There were seminars, books, conferences, and conversion therapy curriculums based upon this idea. In this Ex-Gay Movement, there were token members who spoke publicly about no longer being attracted to the same-sex. As part of their testimony or personal story of conversion, the ex-gay influencers would introduce their spouses, who were the opposite sex, and their biological children as “proof” for the effectiveness of conversion therapy.

Sadly, children were used as pawns in ex-gay propaganda as being attracted to the same-sex was perceived as sexual dysfunction by Evangelicals. Having children within wedlock was seen as verification that the marriage was consummated. From the Evangelical viewpoint, an opposite-sex marriage that was consummated indicated that a person was attracted to the same-sex was no longer attracted to the same-sex. Overgeneralization and all-or-nothing thinking are common thought patterns within Evangelicalism and these ways of fault thinking showed up in beliefs about those who were attracted to the same-sex.

In the late 2000s, there was a shift of Evangelical theology regarding hom*osexuality. Numerous organizations that promoted conversion therapy were discovered to be producing fabricated results of their treatment’s efficacy. Leaders and members of the ex-gay movement were found to still be attracted to the same-sex and be engaging in sexual activities with the same-sex.

Then there was the scandal in 2012 that significantly rocked the Evangelical community and their belief system. Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International, announced at the Gay Christian Network’s annual conference that 99.9% of lesbian and gay people cannot change their orientation, including those who received conversion therapy. Alan Chambers also admitted that he continued to experience same-sex attraction while being married to a cisgender woman and having children with her.1

In 2013, Exodus International closed its doors after 37 years. At the time of its closure, Exodus International hosted 260 ministries (small businesses within the larger organization to promote the furtherment of the ex-gay movement).2 Exodus International developed a program to “convert” LGBTQ+ persons to heterosexuality. Through this larger program, they trained smaller organizations who would provide this program or treatment to queer folx across the world.

As Exodus International was a religious organization, their program went untaxed. The organization profited from shame that people had about their same-sex attraction. From queer folx’ internalized hom*ophobia, the organization was able to expand internationally while financially profiting. According to a tax document filed in Orlando, Florida, there was over $1.1m in revenue for Exodus International’s North America location in 2012. 3

The closing of Exodus International was a major loss for the Evangelical Movement. It caused people to question Evangelical theology and it significantly impacted revenue of Evangelical organizations that profited from the exploitation of queer folx with internalized hom*ophobia in conversion therapy. For the Evangelical organizations that remained open after the closure of Exodus International, they needed a change in their approach to queerness if they were going to break-even or continue financial profiting for their business growth.

With growing skepticism that those attracted to the same-sex could become exclusively attracted to the opposite-sex, the conversion therapy movement pivoted. Conversion therapy supporters began to proselytize that same-sex attracted persons could not change their orientation but could change their behaviors. The conversion therapy supporters advocated for same-sex attracted people to either get married to someone of the opposite sex if attracted, or otherwise remain celibate while being attracted to the same-sex. Although Evangelicals had an increased acknowledgement that same-sex attraction was real, same-sex relationships that were sexual or non-sexual — continued to be taboo.

Asexuality is under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, and it is important to note that celibacy and asexuality are not the same. Asexuality is a spectrum in which people may experience minimal to no sexual attraction or sexual attraction with conditions, such as needing an intellectual, emotional, or circ*mstantial bond before having sexual attraction or engaging in sexual activity. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, not a choice. Celibacy is making an active decision to not engage in sexual activity.4 Sexual orientations such as asexuality are inherent whereas celibacy is learned. 5 Those who choose celibacy while being inherently allosexual (opposite of asexual) can experience undesirable consequences. Rejecting the inherent sense of self or intuition negatively impacts a person’s well-being.6

There is growing research about the effects of celibacy amongst those who are not asexual. Researchers are particularly interested in studying gay and lesbian populations as well as cisgender male populations. From the recent research, a few major themes were found in those who were celibate and allosexual than those were sexually active and allosexual:7

• Higher levels of mood dysregulation

• Higher rates of loneliness

• Lower life satisfaction

• Greater desire for sexual activity

• Increased risk of engaging in unhealthy coping behaviors for stress

• Increased self-perception of being a victim

Evangelicalism is not making progress with LGBTQ+ inclusion by acknowledging the validity of sexual orientations outside of heterosexuality while dictating major and minor life decisions of LGBTQ+ Christians. It is sexually abusive to coerce LGBTQ+ Christians to marry someone of the opposite-sex, who they are unattracted to, or pressure LGBTQ+ Christians to be celibate. Threatening LGBTQ+ Christians to strip them of their church membership or leadership because of practicing body autonomy while LGBTQ+ is deplorable. Internalized hom*ophobic narratives are furthered when religious authorities incentivize and punish behaviors of LGBTQ+ Christians to shape LGBTQ+ congregants’ behaviors into being more comfortable for cisgender-heterosexual congregants.

Take up your cross and follow me8 — is a common mantra for celibate, allosexual, LGBTQ+ Christians. They perceive same-sex attraction to be their cross or persecution from societal forces or evil. By rejecting same-sex attraction, LGBTQ+ Christians with internalized hom*ophobia believe that they will become more Christ-like, pure, or holy and will reap rewards in the afterlife. This idea derives from Nazarites, prophets, and apostles of the Bible who took vows of celibacy for a higher calling.

After the fall of Exodus International, conversion therapy did not necessarily decrease in prevalence or impact. Conversion therapy shifted its shape. In these non-affirming Evangelical spaces, LGBTQ+ Christians are typically not allowed the same rights as non-LGBTQ+ Christians: LGBTQ+ Christians may be prohibited from volunteering with children, having a service role that is public, or being married to a same-sex partner in the Evangelical space. In these non-affirming Evangelical spaces, LGBTQ+ Christians may also be expected to be silent about their attractions or make public and/or private confessions of sin about their same-sex attractions.9 Christians and non-Christians, LGBTQ+ people and non-LGBTQ+ people need to recognize how conversion therapy has transformed in the past decade — in order to protect LGBTQ+ Christians from further religious abuse of power.